Grey Skies & Winter Days

December straight away takes me to Nitin Gupta's play 'Love in December'.

It is the month of falling in love & a month of wishes coming true.

But it just doesn't end there. Unlike almost all of the bollywood movies where 'aakhon aakhon mein pyaar' and ending with ' they lived happily ever after', reality is something which is around 1000kms away from it.

So, I was having a conversation with a friend the other day, because one thing leads to another : December-Love-Possessiveness, and this topic came up. Everyone speaks about love, so lets see what also happens in the journey of love.

General story:

Girl and Boy meet. They flirt. Fall in love. The 24*7 constant attachment. Slowly .. One of them meets new friends. Has more fun. Stays a little busy. The other feels left out. Enter 'possessiveness'. And this is where the Mahabharata begins. It turns in fights. Bollywood drama. Both stay shattered. Suddenly there is so much of hatred for no reason, that being normal with that person becomes next to impossible. 

For a change it's somehow like KJo's movies have less drama in them. I have many friends who are in a relationship and this is one issue most of them are fighting with.

So, for a relationship to exist, we need two people. For possessiveness to begin, there can be plenty more.

To any story in this world there are minimum two sides. In our topic, the girl's side and the boy's.

Possessiveness

adj.

1. Of or relating to ownership or possession.

2. Having or manifesting a desire to control or dominate another, especially in order to limit that person's relationships with others: a possessive parent.

3. Grammar Of, relating to, or being a noun or pronoun case that indicates possession.

n. Grammar

1. The possessive case.

2. A possessive form or construction.

The story from the perspective of boys:
To speak in a very local language, you know how 'kamina' other boys can be. 

So, I guess for you possessiveness actually stands for protecting their loved one. 

To present the story in a lighter format I'm reminded of an episode from a sitcom F.R.I.E.N.D.S. 

Season 5, Episode 19 - TOW Ross Can't Flirt

The scene is as follows:

Chandler: So uh Monica, do you, do you like the Law & Order?
Monica: Yeah, it's good.
Chandler: See, I'm finding out all this stuff about you today, like you like the Law & Order and that you flirted with every guy in the Tri-State area!
Monica: Chandler! (Joey and his grandmother shush them and wave them away, which they do.) Okay, let me get this straight, it's okay for you to flirt, but not for me.
Chandler: Oh, I'm so glad we cleared that up. Look, I'm sorry, some things are different for men and for women.
Monica: Go on, teach me something about men and women.
Chandler: Okay, I've already taught you so much already, but whatever. See when you flirt with a guy you think, "I'm just flirting, no big deal." But the guy is thinking, "Finally! Somebody who wants to sleep with me!"
Monica: No way!
Chandler: It's true.
Monica: Well that's pathetic!
Chandler: Again true.
Monica: And this goes for all guys?
Chandler: All guys that are awake. Then we go to sleep and then all the guys from the other end of the world wake up and behave the exact same way.

But, sometimes it may go overboard. What needs to be understood by you is everyone needs a life beyond the relationship. Having a separate group of friends is necessary to have a balance in life.
Your girl is going to have another boy as her friend. In this case you have to let go of your ego.
Simple solution being, become friends with that boy too.
If that is not possible for you, be a man and confront your insecurities, but do not stop her from seeing someone.
You're her man, she loves you and there is a reason for it. Her bond with you cannot be destroyed by anyone but you.
 If you weaken your bond with her by mistrusting her, there's someone else already waiting to gain her trust and treat her better. 
From what little experience I have, what I have learnt is, if you hold the sand in your fist it will find spaces to escape, but if you keep it in your open palm, it tends to stay there.
You have to trust your girl, boys.

What you should remember is, given all the choices, she chose you. Respect that.

Lets see the girl's side of the story:
If the boy uploads a cute picture with another girl. We're furious. 
Go out alone with another girl. We're furious. 
Don't text the whole day and be out with friends. We're furious. 
Talk to our best friend more. We're furious. 

I just realized that this list is never ending. 

The fact which doesn't need to be proved is we need attention. So, it won't do boys a harm to send a charming text message to let your girl know, that no matter where you are, she's still in your mind. But, we girls need to understand that, he has a life beyond us. If he's busy, he's busy. If he truly loves you, upon being free you're going to be the first person to strike his mind.
Girls, he loves you. A photo with another girl, chatting with a prettier girl is not going to make his love for you any less until and unless you don't let it become an issue.

Conclusion being understanding needs to happen between both the genders. If he is giving you your space, you should be willing to do the same. 

A boy, needs girls as friends. It is a very well proven fact that people of opposite gender tend to mingle up more. But, there are certain boundaries to be maintained.

The boy should respect the girl's insecurities and act accordingly.

Yet again, girls should remember too that the boy chose her, if she chooses to trust him, it is then that their relationship will balance.

The cliche of 'What's mine, is mine.' needs to go away. Because, you don't destroy the people you love.

Being loyal towards each other, having trust in each other, are the only two things which can vanish the bare act of being possessive.

If these exist, even long distance relationships will work out.

P.S. : Blogging is something I am new to. So, any criticism and suggestions will be appreciated.